"I am a Contemplative"

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"I Am A Contemplative"

I have heard the phrase, “I am a contemplative” uttered by many devout Catholics who are genuinely committed to a life of prayer. There are good reasons for this expression. They can represent positive sentiments like these:

  • I value prayer and give a good deal of time to it.
  • I want to be identified with a strong commitment to prayer.
  • I appreciate Carmelite spirituality and am or desire to be a part of it.
  • I pray and it sure feels "contemplative" to me.

These and other positive reasons aside, there also a number of potentially problematic elements in this expression that are worthy of reflection.

An Authentic Understanding of Contemplative Prayer

Though I have no doubt that these good reasons exist in every soul I have heard or seen use the phrase, “I am a contemplative,” I have never encountered one instance where, after asking a few questions, I failed to discover significant misunderstandings regarding authentic contemplative prayer as taught by the Carmelite doctors of the Church.

The most common belief held by those who say, “I am a contemplative” is that contemplation is something we can choose to do. In response to a recent social media claim of "I am a contemplative," I gently and respectfully asked, “What is contemplation?” The answer followed the usual pattern. The good person responded with all the things they do in prayer. For instance, they speak of how they pray, the methods they use etc.

A good student of sound spiritual theology or Carmelite spirituality, in particular, knows that any definition of contemplation that begins with an emphasis on human action is a definition that is problematic even if it contains some truth. In the Carmelite tradition, a "contemplative" is one known to regularly experience infused contemplative prayer. The state of infused contemplation is not one that we can do or achieve by some action or method – it is a work of God for which we can only prepare.

These good folks often make this serious error, and another offspring of it, “I do contemplative prayer” or “I practice contemplative prayer.” Of course, this understanding can be as problematic as its parent because one cannot do what only God can provide to the soul.

Here is a sound definition of contemplation that is in keeping with Carmelite tradition from my book Navigating the Interior Life:

Contemplative prayer is an infused supernatural gift, that originates completely outside of our will or ability, by which a person becomes freely absorbed in God, producing a real and substantive awareness, desire, and love for Him. This often gentle or delightful and sometimes non-sensible encounter yields insights into things of the spirit and results in a deeper and tangible desire and ability to love God and neighbor in thought, word, and deed. It is important to note that infused contemplation is a state that can be prepared for, but cannot in any way be produced by the will or desire of a person through methods or ascetical practices.

The Problem of Pride and Humility

To enter into a substantive prayer life, one must begin on the path of humility. Notice I said, “begin.” St. Teresa of Avila notes in her Interior Castle, that authentic self-knowledge and humility are the beginning foundations of a substantive prayer life. They are not something acquired later but must be present to the beginner in some measure before they can venture more deeply into the Castle, and typically contemplative prayer comes much later in the journey.

To be a contemplative or a mystic, one must be in the Illuminative phase of spiritual growth or beyond. This means the pilgrim will usually have spent a number of years, even decades, wrestling against and winning the battle (by God’s mercy and their grace-enabled effort) over habitual sin and even imperfections. It means they will have ventured through the dark valley of the spiritual purgation of the nights. By this time in their journey, it is common that they spend an hour or more a day in prayer and are deeply committed to frequent sacramental participation. It means they are living a life of deep sanctity. These folks are heading for, into, or living in, the domain of the saints.

As of yet, I have never encountered a saint or anyone close to being a saint, living or dead, who would state, “I am a saint,” or I am a mystic,” or “I am a contemplative.” Instead, what you hear out of the mouths of these holy men and women is, “I am a sinner” or “I am a worm,” as St. Teresa was often heard to say. Yes, she acknowledged the unfathomable beauty of a soul in a state of grace. However, she also knew the dark capacity of her own soul and that of every person. She understood the danger of spiritual pride by the time of writing her great work on prayer; she saw many fall into this deadly trap. Thus she generally avoided describing any direct expression of her own experiences with God and never drifted into claims of being a saint or a mystic.

Thus, proclaiming “I am a contemplative” is generally a prideful and theologically problematic statement that should never be uttered by one who seeks the life of authentic prayer or one who is a part of Apostoli Viae. To be fair, this self-designation can sometimes come out of a sincere misunderstanding of Church teaching that is typically rooted in the false teachings of the Centering Prayer movement or in the orthodox teaching in the realm of Ignatian prayer. Regardless, humility dictates that we both understand what the Church teaches about authentic contemplative prayer and that we always pursue humility and self-deprecation when describing our spiritual state.

What Does it Mean to Live the "Contemplative Life" as Proposed by Apostoli Viae?

In Apostoli Viae, we do say that we seek to “live the contemplative life.” However, living the contemplative life means that we recognize our desperate need for God and union with Him. We thereby commit to giving ourselves to a disciplined life of prayer, penance, sacrifice, and service to God and those He has placed in our care. This is the path to contemplation, but God is the one who decides whether or not we cross that bridge, how often, and how deeply. Regardless, it is a good life that properly lived, leads one to proclaim, along with the publican, “God have mercy on me a sinner!”

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Contemplative Life - Spiritual Reading Plan
Have you ever wanted to have a reading plan but worried about what you should actually read, that is in keeping with the magisterium, and is truly helpful with respect to where you are on your spiritual journey? This is why I created this reading plan. As well this plan follows the general path of formation of Apostoli Viae. Just reading books cannot make you a saint. In fact, when consumed without spiritual direction, gluttonous reading can lead to pride and mere external knowledge that results in more harm than good. Even so, when we read books in concert with our spiritual director and in keeping with our current spiritual state, they can serve as stepping stones to heaven.  This plan is meant to be read stepwise beginning with the Catechism, then Into the Deep, then Scripture, then the Better Part, then Thoephilos, etc. There are a few books on prayer and spirituality that I did not include but are important because of destructive modern trends, these are A Catholic Guide to Mindfulness by Susan Brinkman and Is Centering Prayer Catholic? by Conni Rossini. Otherwise, the books on this reading plan are all positive proposals of the teaching of the Church and the wisdom of the saints. A few other notes are in order 1) the books in blue are books I have written and 2) the books with bold titles are for daily meditation.  Important: Be sure to use the links I have provided below. There are translations of important works that deeply distort the intended meaning of the authors. Yes, folks actually do this. As well, there are translations that are well intended but that really miss the mark. To help you find the right versions of these books, I have provided all the links below. Yes, it took a lot of work to do this. If you are appreciative, please donate to Apostoli Viae HERE. Catechism of the Catholic Church Into the Deep - Finding Peace through Prayer -  by Dan Burke Scripture - New Testament Reading - The Ignatius Catholic Study Bible The Better Part - Fr. John Bartunek Theophilus - Michael O'Brien Corpus Christi - Holy Communion and the Renewal of the Church - Bishop Athanasius Schneider (Out of Print) Time for God - Fr. Jacques Philippe Introduction to the Devout Life - St. Francis de Sales A Devotional Journey into the Mass - Christopher Carstens Confession - Its Fruitful Practice Contemplative Rosary - Dan Burke and Connie Rossini Seven Deadly Sins - Kevin Vost Thirsting for Prayer - Fr. Jacques Philippe Navigating the Interior Life - Dan Burke Q&A Guide to Mental Prayer - Connie Rossini Spiritual Warfare & the Discernment of Spirits - Dan Burke Searching for and Maintaining Peace - Fr. Jacques Philippe 30 Days with St. Teresa of Avila - Burke & Lilles Living the Mystery of Merciful Love - Burke & Lilles Her Life - St. Teresa of Avila Fulfillment of all Desire - Ralph Martin Finding God through Meditation - St. Peter of Alcantara Soul of the Apostolate - Dom Chautard The Sacrament of the Present Moment - Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade Discernment of Spirits - Fr. Timothy Gallagher Divine Intimacy - Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen The Way of Perfection - St. Teresa of Avila Humility of Heart - Fr. Cajetan Mary da Bergamo Spiritual Canticle - St. John of the Cross Fire Within - Fr. Thomas Dubay I Want to see God - Fr. P. Marie-Eugene Interior Castle w/Commentary - Teresa of Avila - Dennis Billy Fire from Above - Anthony Lilles Union with God - Fr. Gabriel fo St. Mary Magdalen Impact of God - Fr. Iain Matthew I Am a Daughter of the Church - Fr. P. Marie Eugene Ascent of Mt. Carmel - St. John of the Cross Spiritual Consolation - Fr. Timothy Gallagher Collected Works - St. John of the Cross Happy are You Poor - Fr. Thomas Dubay