Testimony of First Promises

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The following is a testimony of one of our community who made their first promises to become a Disciple on the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel – July 16th 2018. The photo featured on this page was provided by her and the prayer book you see is her prayer book (as provided to all Disciples).


The investiture was something that has changed everything for me. When you asked in the recent Disciple meeting for anyone to share, I wanted to but couldn’t compose the words in the moment. After the investiture I prayed the Examen and this time in prayer revealed SO many beautiful remembrances, so many personal graces, the witness of the deeply moving commitment of Stephanie Burke, and the gift of our Apostoli Viae community.

But I also wanted to be able to put into words what was at the core for me - maybe I shouldn’t struggle to want to put it into words. Maybe words cannot capture it. But I wanted to try anyway.

For me, when I overcame the interior battle that I struggled with up until the very day of the Investiture – the battle to say “Yes” - when I said to Jesus through Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, that I give all of myself to God - there was something that happened that I did not anticipate. Our Blessed Mother and Jesus Christ, they gave themselves to me.

It was a mutual giving of Love, and it washed over me. What assurance this is! It means that God is present to Me - always.

I think of this as simply a baby step on the road to Him. What more there is in store for us if we can really and truly turn ourselves over to Our Blessed Mother and Our Lord! But how much I pray that I can remain in Him. Please Mother and our Lord, do not let me fall away. Help me to keep growing closer to You, to be conformed to You.

So this is why I believe that God called me to Apostoli Viae. Because I have sought Him and I have found Him here and through all of the formation we have received. The Apostoli Viae prayer book- it is a jewel and daily reminder of God’s love for us. There is one prayer I am so glad you left in there- the one about the beggar. That beggar is me.

“I am not worthy so much as to gather the crumbs under Your table but You are always merciful and desire that this poor beggar rise from the floor to dine with You, to commune with You. Grant therefore, I beg You, to draw me to Yourself that I may be absorbed in You, that my entire being might be transformed in You so that I am able to love You as You deserve and so manifest Your love to the world that all I encounter this day will be drawn to know, love, and worship You today and forever. Draw me to You Lord.”

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Contemplative Life - Spiritual Reading Plan
Have you ever wanted to have a reading plan but worried about what you should actually read, that is in keeping with the magisterium, and is truly helpful with respect to where you are on your spiritual journey? This is why I created this reading plan. As well this plan follows the general path of formation of Apostoli Viae. Just reading books cannot make you a saint. In fact, when consumed without spiritual direction, gluttonous reading can lead to pride and mere external knowledge that results in more harm than good. Even so, when we read books in concert with our spiritual director and in keeping with our current spiritual state, they can serve as stepping stones to heaven.  This plan is meant to be read stepwise beginning with the Catechism, then Into the Deep, then Scripture, then the Better Part, then Thoephilos, etc. There are a few books on prayer and spirituality that I did not include but are important because of destructive modern trends, these are A Catholic Guide to Mindfulness by Susan Brinkman and Is Centering Prayer Catholic? by Conni Rossini. Otherwise, the books on this reading plan are all positive proposals of the teaching of the Church and the wisdom of the saints. A few other notes are in order 1) the books in blue are books I have written and 2) the books with bold titles are for daily meditation.  Important: Be sure to use the links I have provided below. There are translations of important works that deeply distort the intended meaning of the authors. Yes, folks actually do this. As well, there are translations that are well intended but that really miss the mark. To help you find the right versions of these books, I have provided all the links below. Yes, it took a lot of work to do this. If you are appreciative, please donate to Apostoli Viae HERE. Catechism of the Catholic Church Into the Deep - Finding Peace through Prayer -  by Dan Burke Scripture - New Testament Reading - The Ignatius Catholic Study Bible The Better Part - Fr. John Bartunek Theophilus - Michael O'Brien Corpus Christi - Holy Communion and the Renewal of the Church - Bishop Athanasius Schneider (Out of Print) Time for God - Fr. Jacques Philippe Introduction to the Devout Life - St. Francis de Sales A Devotional Journey into the Mass - Christopher Carstens Confession - Its Fruitful Practice Contemplative Rosary - Dan Burke and Connie Rossini Seven Deadly Sins - Kevin Vost Thirsting for Prayer - Fr. Jacques Philippe Navigating the Interior Life - Dan Burke Q&A Guide to Mental Prayer - Connie Rossini Spiritual Warfare & the Discernment of Spirits - Dan Burke Searching for and Maintaining Peace - Fr. Jacques Philippe 30 Days with St. Teresa of Avila - Burke & Lilles Living the Mystery of Merciful Love - Burke & Lilles Her Life - St. Teresa of Avila Fulfillment of all Desire - Ralph Martin Finding God through Meditation - St. Peter of Alcantara Soul of the Apostolate - Dom Chautard The Sacrament of the Present Moment - Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade Discernment of Spirits - Fr. Timothy Gallagher Divine Intimacy - Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen The Way of Perfection - St. Teresa of Avila Humility of Heart - Fr. Cajetan Mary da Bergamo Spiritual Canticle - St. John of the Cross Fire Within - Fr. Thomas Dubay I Want to see God - Fr. P. Marie-Eugene Interior Castle w/Commentary - Teresa of Avila - Dennis Billy Fire from Above - Anthony Lilles Union with God - Fr. Gabriel fo St. Mary Magdalen Impact of God - Fr. Iain Matthew I Am a Daughter of the Church - Fr. P. Marie Eugene Ascent of Mt. Carmel - St. John of the Cross Spiritual Consolation - Fr. Timothy Gallagher Collected Works - St. John of the Cross Happy are You Poor - Fr. Thomas Dubay