The following is a testimony of one of our community who made their first promises to become a Disciple on the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel – July 16th 2018. The photo featured on this page was provided by her and the prayer book you see is her prayer book (as provided to all Disciples).
The investiture was something that has changed everything for me. When you asked in the recent Disciple meeting for anyone to share, I wanted to but couldn’t compose the words in the moment. After the investiture I prayed the Examen and this time in prayer revealed SO many beautiful remembrances, so many personal graces, the witness of the deeply moving commitment of Stephanie Burke, and the gift of our Apostoli Viae community.
But I also wanted to be able to put into words what was at the core for me - maybe I shouldn’t struggle to want to put it into words. Maybe words cannot capture it. But I wanted to try anyway.
For me, when I overcame the interior battle that I struggled with up until the very day of the Investiture – the battle to say “Yes” - when I said to Jesus through Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, that I give all of myself to God - there was something that happened that I did not anticipate. Our Blessed Mother and Jesus Christ, they gave themselves to me.
It was a mutual giving of Love, and it washed over me. What assurance this is! It means that God is present to Me - always.
I think of this as simply a baby step on the road to Him. What more there is in store for us if we can really and truly turn ourselves over to Our Blessed Mother and Our Lord! But how much I pray that I can remain in Him. Please Mother and our Lord, do not let me fall away. Help me to keep growing closer to You, to be conformed to You.
So this is why I believe that God called me to Apostoli Viae. Because I have sought Him and I have found Him here and through all of the formation we have received. The Apostoli Viae prayer book- it is a jewel and daily reminder of God’s love for us. There is one prayer I am so glad you left in there- the one about the beggar. That beggar is me.
“I am not worthy so much as to gather the crumbs under Your table but You are always merciful and desire that this poor beggar rise from the floor to dine with You, to commune with You. Grant therefore, I beg You, to draw me to Yourself that I may be absorbed in You, that my entire being might be transformed in You so that I am able to love You as You deserve and so manifest Your love to the world that all I encounter this day will be drawn to know, love, and worship You today and forever. Draw me to You Lord.”