by Apostoli_Viae


10
13

Testimony of First Promises

The following is a testimony of one of our community who made their first promises to become a Disciple on the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel – July 16th 2018. The photo featured on this page was provided by her and the prayer book you see is her prayer book (as provided to all Disciples).


The investiture was something that has changed everything for me. When you asked in the recent Disciple meeting for anyone to share, I wanted to but couldn’t compose the words in the moment. After the investiture I prayed the Examen and this time in prayer revealed SO many beautiful remembrances, so many personal graces, the witness of the deeply moving commitment of Stephanie Burke, and the gift of our Apostoli Viae community.

But I also wanted to be able to put into words what was at the core for me - maybe I shouldn’t struggle to want to put it into words. Maybe words cannot capture it. But I wanted to try anyway.

For me, when I overcame the interior battle that I struggled with up until the very day of the Investiture – the battle to say “Yes” - when I said to Jesus through Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, that I give all of myself to God - there was something that happened that I did not anticipate. Our Blessed Mother and Jesus Christ, they gave themselves to me.

It was a mutual giving of Love, and it washed over me. What assurance this is! It means that God is present to Me - always.

I think of this as simply a baby step on the road to Him. What more there is in store for us if we can really and truly turn ourselves over to Our Blessed Mother and Our Lord! But how much I pray that I can remain in Him. Please Mother and our Lord, do not let me fall away. Help me to keep growing closer to You, to be conformed to You.

So this is why I believe that God called me to Apostoli Viae. Because I have sought Him and I have found Him here and through all of the formation we have received. The Apostoli Viae prayer book- it is a jewel and daily reminder of God’s love for us. There is one prayer I am so glad you left in there- the one about the beggar. That beggar is me.

“I am not worthy so much as to gather the crumbs under Your table but You are always merciful and desire that this poor beggar rise from the floor to dine with You, to commune with You. Grant therefore, I beg You, to draw me to Yourself that I may be absorbed in You, that my entire being might be transformed in You so that I am able to love You as You deserve and so manifest Your love to the world that all I encounter this day will be drawn to know, love, and worship You today and forever. Draw me to You Lord.”

Comments

To leave a comment, login or sign up.
  • Diane Roe

    Diane Roe

    Thank you, thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony. You speak of the interior battle that we all have yet by sharing you reminded me that when we desire to grow closer to God, the world, flesh and devil will throw everything at us to discourage us from this desire. Yet if we are truly in love with God and desire to be fully His- what do we need to be fearful of? The the battle is with surrender-letting go, completely, of our sinfulness to allow God to fully enter and transform us. It is pride-I always think I need to be as "clean" as I can before I make a commitment, but you remind me of my status as beggar. This prayer is beautiful it brings me back to my years as feeling as a "beggar living off of crumbs dropped on the floor". It comes down to one fact "without me you can do nothing". Our desires have led us to Apostoli Viae-the path to surround us and keep us close with His providential care. We are all welcome and sharing the riches of His table.
  • Elisa Lopez

    Elisa Lopez

    Thank you my friend. My battle to say 'Yes' is still full of cracks. To hear your testimony and to read the beggar prayer has strengthened my hope and my cry to the Holy Spirit. … draw me to Yourself that I may be absorbed in You
  • PHIL FLEMING

    PHIL FLEMING

    I'm so grateful for your sharing
  • Judy Silhan

    Judy Silhan

    Thank you for putting into words what is probably on most of our hearts. Each time we say "Yes" to Him, and to Our Lady, our difficult paths toward Heaven are made easier.
  • Janis Rochester

    Janis Rochester

    Very touching and beautifully said. Thank you for taking the time. How beautifully you are being drawn into an intimate walk with our Savior and guided by the Blessed Mother. I can relate to your fiat response then receiving a deeper understanding. I join your prayer in asking that you , and us all, be drawn into deeper relationship and we love with our entire being as we journey together in this charism.
  • Angel Prince

    Angel Prince

    How beautiful that you were able to say 'Yes" to Him and Our Lady. I love the beggar prayer. Thank you for sharing.
  • Christine Rich

    Christine Rich

    Love the image in this post - it brought me right to where you were before I even read the words.
  • Hope Aspengren

    Hope Aspengren

    Praise God for your sharing with us. Beautiful.
  • Teresa McReynolds

    Teresa McReynolds

    Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. I find such strength and beauty in your words-each expressing feeling in my own heart. The battle for our souls is so great. Yet in the surrender, you show a glimpse of what He promises. With deep heartfelt gratitude. Teresa
  • Yalile Deal

    Yalile Deal

    Thank you for sharing the beautiful gift we receive.

13

Favorites

Tags

See which tags match your interests. Create an account today